Delightfully Sexual
by kc creation
Summary: Kyo should have known by now that if Haru wasn't leaving embarrassing notes, he was making sexual phone calls. kyoxharu


_kc creation_ would like to mention that she would be terribly happy if anyone would care to parody her fictions. Let's think of it as a contest, 'kay? and whoever writes the best one gets whatever she could possibly give you over the internet.

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**Delightfully Sexual**

"I hate you," Kyo Sohma stated as he stepped into his apartment. "You know that, right?"

Chocolate brown eyes lingered on crimson for only a moment, before gazing away carelessly.

"You know you don't mean that." He didn't smile, nor did he laugh, because he knew even if the cat wasn't serious..

It _hurt_.

"No, I really do." He could hear the sarcasm and utter annoyance dripping from the young man's voice, but he chose to ignore it, instead concentrating on a very interesting pattern on the hardwood table.

He wasn't sure _what_ he did, and he really didn't _want_ to.

But he asked nonetheless.

"What did I do this time?" He monotoned, playing with a strand of white hair that had fallen into his eyes.

There was a long silence, and he finally spared his kitten a short glance, only to see the boy sitting quietly next to him at the kitchen table, face bright red and hands fisted in his lap. His cellphone lay before him, opened and facing Haru.

"Saved Messages", the text read, and for a moment he couldn't fathom why the older boy would be so embarrassed.

Until, of course, he remembered the delightfully sexual message he'd sent his kitten, and how he just _might_ have forgotten to turn the volume dow from 'maxium' on his phone. The poor cat probably opened it during classes or something, and caused the entire student body, and the professor turn and stare as he tried desperately to turn the stupid thing off.

"When did you hear it?" He asked slowly.

The other boy stayed silent for a moment, until finally lifting a hand to snatch his cell from the table and snap it closed.

"On my way to the university," He began, and Haru found himself breathing a sigh of relief.

The last thing he needed was to get Kyo kicked out of college.

"I stopped by Starbucks for some coffee, and ran into Yuki and Tohru." The ox's blood ran cold as he heard this, and though he wasn't looking, he could feel the poisonous glare his boyfriend was sending him.

Even if Kyo wasn't in love with the clueless girl anymore, Haru knew the cat was still very protective of her, especially since Yuki confessed that he wasn't in love with her either, and was soon moving out of Shigure's to live with his girlfriend and her brother.

"And let me guess," He chuckled. "You decided to check your messages while you guys were waiting for your orders, and they heard the entire thing?"

The glare was growing stronger and stronger by the minute, and Haru worried that if his kitten didn't calm down, he'd give him cancer with his eyes or something.

"She wanted to know if you were going to be a policeman, because you _'seemed to like those handcuffs an awful lot.'_"

There was a pause, before the younger boy asked, "Was she serious?", and Kyo nodded.

That was about the moment that Hatsuharu Sohma began laughing both uncharacteristically and uncontrolably.

"Jesus, Kyo, I dunno how you _ever_ imagined having sex with her!" He studdered inbetween bouts of laughter. "I mean, she'd probably think your dick was a giant snake or something."

The cat's face redened, and he rose to his feet, towering over the younger boy.

"Don't you have any respect for anyone?!" He screeched. "I mean.. Dammit Haru!"

He stormed out of the room, his boyfriend's laughter folling him all the way.

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This is for _flyingdaggers, _who:

1. Inspired me to write this with the whole, "Well if someones not writting a letter then their making a phone call in most cases." quote, for my fiction _'It Doesn't Do To Dwell On Dreams'._

2. _Also_ inspired me to mention that I would love it with every inch of my being if someone would parody any of my kyoxharu fictions.

3. Is the coolest reviewer I've ever met.

so yeah.

I'd also like to bring attention to the fact that Kyo goes to Starbucks. I personally love the place, so it's only natural that he does too. If anyone was wondering, he probably ordered a French Vanilla Frappichino, because it's hot outside, and French Vanilla is just **so good**.

And the whole "Haru hoping Kyo didn't give him cancer with his eyes" thing was from one of my favorite South Park episodes.You know, the one with Terrance & Phillip called "Not Without My Anus", where that Scott dude's staring at them and it's like:

_Terrance: What are you doing?_

_Scott: I am wishing cancer upon you._

_Phillip: What?_

_Scott: I am giving you cancer with my mind._

_Phillip: No, don't give me cancer!_

ahahaha, I love that show.


End file.
